This Is What All Pros in Influence and Persuasion Do.

To reall excel in your attempts to influence and persuade others you really need to do one vital thing.

You really need to ask yourself a couple of question. The answers to these 2 simple questions will lay the foundation for your plan of attack or stategy in your influence or persuasion situation.

These questions are

1. What do I want to have happen?
2. How will I know when it has?

Honestly, these are the two very simple, yet very powerful questions.

Ask yourself these before you stat thinking about the persuasion tools and tactics you will be using. With these questions answered you can then start to build up a plan. You can begin to manipulate the situation and you can feel more in control of what you are actually looking to achieve.

A second advantage is that if you have a goal in mind and you keep focused on it. You subconscious mind will start to work towards it. Little opportunities may start to present them selves, ideas will pop into your head, people will come into your life, it's amazing but true, it really does work.

That's all for me today, have a great one,

Jason D
Total Influence And Persuasion

Wouldn't You Like To Know What They Really Think?

Article: Wouldn't You Like To Know What They Really Think?

Today I kick off the first in a series of Influence and Persuasion articles that can be used in a number of situations but are especially effective in an office environment. They are designed to give you a little bit of an extra edge when you want to influence or persuade someone in many situations that are common across every office world.

Setting The Scene

I'm sure you've been in a situation before when you put forward an idea or proposal and you're just not too sure if the people or person you are talking to really like it. This can be used when presenting ideas to your peers or your boss but is really effective if you are the boss and want some feedback from your reports.

People don't always feel comfortable criticising the boss so they don't speak up and you miss out on some potentially valuable feedback. This short series of questions will sort this right out.

Underlying Concept

The concept behind it is simple. You get the person to agree that they like your idea. The word like is key here. The word like says that they think it's good BUT that it could be better. In essence you are using language to influence them into telling you what they really think.

Example 1

You: ...so do you like about that idea as a possible solution to...
Them: I like it, it sound fine to me.
You: Good, well what would it take for it to be even better?

They have admitted that they like the idea. You have asked what would make it even better. This does two things. First is allows you accept that it is good but also admit that there may be room for improvement. Second, it allow them to feel comfortable giving you some extra feedback.

Example 2

You: Do you like the document I've produced to....?
Them: Yes, it's good, I like it.
You: Just for my curiosity, what would you have added to the document? (or how would you have done it differently?)

In example two she may well be telling the truth and really think the document is great; however you have elegantly opened up a chance to allow her to give you some feedback without feeling uncomfortable. Remember you asked for the feedback so don't then go on the defensive if it's not what you want to hear!

So in a nutshell: Ask them for some feedback, let the person respond, then ask in some way how it could be even better.

Cheers for now,

Jason D
Total Influence And Persuasion

Covert Subliminal Influence by Kevin Hogan

Hi,

Just a quick note on Kevin Hogan's Covert Subliminal Influence DVD set. I purchased the set about a month ago and haven't really had the time to look at it up until today.

Talking of influence and persuasion I think there is a lot to be said for the quality of Kevin's persuasive ability as I bought it without even reading the description properly. I knew it would be good.

Wow...I must say it really is worth waiting for. I bought Kevin's other set of subliminal DVDs last year and always wanted to know a bit more about the technology behind the flashing images and words. Well it now looks like we are about to find out with the Covert Subliminal Influence DVD set.

I've only watched the first DVD and as usual Kevin captivates the watcher from the moment the DVD starts.

The only downside is that there was an issue with the camera at the end of the DVD so it cuts off before the end and DVD two starts at a different point, so you do miss some information that I feel is important.

However I've contact Kevin's people (A lovely lady call Katie Hogan, who replied within about 15 minutes on a Sunday afternoon - now that's service!) and they have said that Kevin will release a web based video to fill in the gaps some time soon.

I'm looking forward to the other DVDs and will keep you updated as I go along.

I'm currently working as a trainer/business improvement coach and I'm keen to see how I can use some of this stuff in my influence and persuasion efforts.

Cheers for now,

Jason

Why Do Casinos Have Horrible Carpets?

In the Casino game they are expert in the art of influence. A casino isn't so much interested in persuading you to change your attitude, deep down you know that long term you will loose money to the house. However they will are very interested and ingenues at influencing you to spend more money.

They know every trick in the book in persuading you to spend as much of your hard earned cash as possible.

- They have tricks to keep you in the casino for as long a time as possible.
- They have tricks to distort your body clock so you loose sense of time.
- They have tricks to make you feel like you are richer than you are so that you spend more money.

And they have many other tricks and tactics that I'll go into in the coming weeks.

However for today I'd like to talk about how casinos use bright garish looking carpets. It's the same for amusement arcades to. They all seem to have they horrible, bright red patterned carpets.

Well the reason is simple. They don't want you to look at the floor, they want you to look at the machines!

As you walk around the casino, particularly the slot machine areas, there are lots of bright flashing lights and loud noise. These are designed to attract you, to take notice of the machines. Then approach it and stick in a few coins.

However after some time you eyes get tired and need a rest. Normally they would be dawn to a area of dull colour that could be used as a "safe haven" (probably all done subconsciously). The ground is normally a good bet, yes?....not in a casino. As soon as you look at the ground it is worse that the machines and your eye want to move of somewhere else and hopefully toward one of these many waiting, flashing slot machines where you can slot in a few more quid.

What chance to we stand if these guys are using the level of influence on us? My attitude it to visit a casino for the experience. It going to cost you £50 or $50 but that is the cost of the experience why fight it. If you do end up having a winning roll then brilliant, if not then you were prepared to spend the money anyway.

That's it for today,

Jason D.
Total Inflence Persuasion

The "What If" approach to Influence & Persuasion

Hi there,

Since I've started to write about influence and persuasion a funny thing has happened. I've started to have a radar like sense for picking up situations where people (mainly sales people I have to admit but sometimes even my girlfriend!) are using persuasive or inflencial language.

One good example was a telephone call I received the other day. I went a little something like this:-

Sales Man (I young guy, sounded like he was about 16 and was reading straight from a script): Hi is that Mr Wallace
Me: No there isn't a Mr Wallace lives here, there is a Miss Wallace (my girlfriend)
SM: Are you the home owner?
Me: Yes
SM: And your name would be? (first use of clever language.

By using the phrase "and your name would be" he isn't really asking me outright from my name he is kind of saying if "I were to ask you what your name is what would you tell me". This makes it easier for me to accept than someone simply asking - "what is your name?" Direct questions like that run the risk of me asking "who needs to know". We are also conditioned not to give out our names to strangers and also some people just don't like direct questions.

Me: (playing along now to see how this unfolds): I'm Mr Davidson
SM: Hello Mr Davidson I'm calling from Company XYZ (can't remember the name of the company) to let you know that we are running a great competition in your area just now. Lucky winners win a money off voucher. To enter the competition all you need to do is answer one sort question. "If you were to win the money off voucher to redecorate one of the rooms in your house which room would it be most likely to be, the kitchen or the bedroom?"

There it was, the "If you were to..." question. This is such a powerful question because it isn't actually asking you which room you want to decorate, it's asking you a hypothetical question. This immediately lowers you barriers and allow that persuasive statement right through.

Your mind simply thinks "it's only a possibility" so there is no harm in answering. I'm not actually going to do anything. However to answer the question you must actually think about the kitchen and the bedroom and think about what you would do to it if you could redecorate it. This process makes you think about what is not quite right with the bedroom or kitchen and then you start to picture the possible improvements, the seed has been planted. All this and it is just a hypothetical question "If you were to...".

You see you mind cannot tell the difference between positive and negative statements. It's a bit like saying "Don't think of a blue kangaroo" you have to think of one, not to think of one.

Me: I guess the bedroom.
SM: Ok, thanks for your time. Someone will be in touch with you if you win, good luck Mr Davidson.

I've got a funny feeling that the my luck could be in tonight...with the voucher that is :-) I'll keep you updated...

Jason D

Total Influence and Persuasion

The Four f’s part 2 - Discover The Secret That Any Persuasion And Influence Professional Should Know

Welcome to part 2 of the four fs

Let’s get stuck straight in. From part one I explained how the 4 fs have been genetically bread into us over millions of years. These are the characteristics that have been, until now, the most successful in allowing the genes that we carry to be passed on to the next generation. The four fs are used each and every day to influence and persuade us and we are actually pretty much helpless those who use them against us. That is unless we understand and have a awareness of how and when they are used.

The four fs are:

• Fight
• Flight
• Food

And you guessed it…

• Finding a Partner
  

Over years and years of evolution the genes that make their human carriers adept at deciding and whether to fight or run away (flight) from danger have allowed these people to live longer and (potentially) reproduce with more mates.

The ability to find and identify wholesome and nutritious food has lead to the survival of not just the carrier but also any infants that he or she is raising.

And finally the ability to attract and mate with a member of the opposite gender is obviously the key factor.

Now how does this all come together to help us in our influence and persuasion efforts.

Finding A Partner

Well this is the very reason that the old advertising adage “Sex sells” is so true. It sells because it is how the genes that we carry have survived through the generations. These genes have hardwired us to take notice of anything related to finding and mating with a member of the opposite sex.

Think about it for a second. If you didn’t take a healthy interest I identifying a good quality member of the opposite gender to mate with, would the genes that you carry ever survive more than a generation? Of course not.

This means that only genes that endow their carriers this hard wired instinct to find and reproduce with a partner have made it this far and that is why “Sex Sells”.

For example, as a male we see a picture of an attractive female and we immediately take notice. Step one the advertiser has got your attention. But not only do we take notice of the female but we also take notice of the product she is promoting. Step tow the advertiser has sneaked in a message.

This technique is doubly cleaver as we have now anchored i.e. linked in out mind, that product to finding a beautiful female. So the female made us take notice and then caused us subconsciously to link owning the product to finding a beautiful mate. Very clever. (Anchoring is used by influence professionals all the time. I’ll create a post about this in the future some time.)

Further points to consider

How much of the advertisements on TV are related in one way or another to one or more of the 4 fs. Food adverts probably make up about a third of those adverts on TV and why are so many people in the developed world fat.

Could it be that our primitive minds are still in the find food state that they would have had wired in over millions of year but our conscious mind are struggling with the reality that we no longer need to eat as much food as we can. That is a conflict if ever I saw one and it looks like our hard wired genes are winning!

How many times do politicians harp on about safety, security, avoiding danger, etc in their speeches. Do you think they do it because we are hard wired to take notice of thing related to spotting and avoiding danger. It's very interesting, don't you think?

Until next time,

Jason D.
Total Influence And Persuasion

A Groovy Way To Say “No”

Hi Everyone,

I read this article from the blog of a guy called Joseph Plazo. He had an excellent blog, see below for a link, which is well worth a visit.

I thought it was relevant because often in when we talk about persuasion and influence we get drawn into thinking that we are trying to get others to agree to something that we want them to do or think. However it is just as important for us to be able to combat against others who use persuasion and influence techniques against us. One of the most common is the Law of Reciprocation (you scratch my back I'll scratch your for short) it is very powerful and we need to recognise when it is being used and combat against it. The post for Joseph's post is a great example of how elegantly and eloquently say no, particularly when someone is using the law of reciprocation against you. Enjoy.

Jason D.

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Refusals are rarely easy to convey. It helps when you are clear in your own mind that you do truly want to say “no”; any ambivalence undermines your authority. A very good motive for saying “no” is simply “I don’t want to.” When you have a precise basis for saying no and desire to name it, do so. Nonetheless, the fact that someone else wants you to do something bestow no obligation on you to secure your decision.

Convey a letter of refusal when giving a negative reply to invitations: personal/business; proposals; requests; propositions; wedding invitations. The following composes a list of best practices for refusal.

1. Appreciate the person for the offer.

2. Affirm your “no,” articulate your regret at having to do so. If fitting, elucidate your position.

3. Finish with a pleasant desire to be of more assistance next time, to accomodate the person again. Shun lengthy, involved justification and apologies; they are far from convincing, even if true.

4. Eschew phrases like “you may think,” “according to you,” “you claim.” Restate the person’s appeal, grievance, or angry letter in an impassive, factual manner.

5. Never attribute your rejection to someone else’s actions (“my spouse doesn’t care for . ,) except in the incidental way that, for illustration, a prior rendezvous prevents you from accomplishing something.

6. Evade outright deceit. It is too easy to be trapped , and you will be a lot more relaxed with yourself and with the other person the next time you meet if you stick to the truth.

Bear in mind the following tips when writing a refusal letter:

1. Begin your rejection with a “thank you,” if appropriate: “Thank you for your invitation, request, proposition, offer.”

2. Relish tact. Minimize reflecting on the person you’re writing to or on their request. Condition your refusal in terms of some inability on your part such as will be flying out,” or simply “will be unable to attend”.

3. At all times keep your reply even-tempered and impassive.

4. When possible, minimize the proponent’s disenchantment: Offer to help at a later period; propose someone else who might be able to provide the same aid; apologize for your inability to endorse the request; show some advantage to them from your rejection, then appreciate them for their interest/request/concern.

5. Keep in mind that small things as shuffling the order of your phrases can soften the rejection. You might opt to give the reason for your refusal before actually stating the refusal.

Warmly,Joseph Plazo

Written by joseph on ://www.xtrememind.com/blog/2006/11/21/">November 21st, 2006 with no comments.Read more articles on How-To's and egory/communications/">Communications.