The Four Fs Part 1 - Discover The Secret of The 4 Fs And How They Are Behind EVERTHING We Do.

Some time ago I read the brilliant book by the Richard Broodie (The guy who we can thank for the invention of Microsoft Word incidentally) called Virus of the Mind.

This book is a fascinating read and mainly covers the concept of Meme's (I'll talk more about meme's in a later post because they are key to understanding Influence and Persuasion).

However also in the book he talks about how our are genes dictate everything that we do at an instinctual level often referred to as our primitive behaviour.

Over the years the genes that have been successful in surviving i.e. being passed on to a new human carrier are those that cause their human carrier (or any other animal for that matter) to carry out certain actions, attitude and behaviours.

For example you might be able to imagine that millions of years ago there would have been a massive pool of genes. These gene genetically hard code certain instincts into those animals carrying the genes.

Now lets say for example that a certain gene didn't have a built in fear of heights. This it could be likely that people without this 'fear of heights' characteristic would over time be more likely to fall of cliffs. If they kept falling of cliffs the they would be less likely to reproduce, because they would be dead! and therefore there would be less likely to pass on their genes to the next generation.

Over time (a long time) genes that had a built in fear of heights would become more prominent because these gene are more likely not die by falling off a cliff and therefore more likely to reproduce an be passed on through the generations.

Now this could be why today most of us have a health fear of heights. Over time only genes that have this 'fear of flights' characteristic have survived.

However the four f's are the main characteristics of genes that have got us to where we are today, and have may be the reason that a lot of social problems exist today.

However we as students of the art of Influence and Persuasion can multiply our effectiveness if we know and use them at every opportunity, but in Influencing others and in detecting if we are being underhandedly influenced or persuaded by others.

In part two of this post I'll outline exactly what the 4 f's are.

Until then thanks for reading,

Jason D.

P.S. If you're interested in disovering more about memes and want to read Richard Brodies bestselling book 'Virus Of the Mind - The New Science Of The Meme' then follow this link to Amazon.com or this link to Amazon.co.uk.

If You Only Ever Read One Book On Influence

There are a number of basic laws in the are of persuasion and influence and one of those is the law of reciprocation. One of the best books on the subject of peruasion and influence is a study of the work of Robert Cialdini called Influence: Science and Practice this is a short book, but in it he outlines the basic laws of persuasion. It really is one of the core text books anyone interested in Influence should read and understand, all the other bells and whistles are routed in this research. which was all conducted and recorded under strict scientific conditions.

Remember there is a difference between Influence and Persuasion, check out my earlier post on the subject to remind yourself if your unsure.

What Is The Difference Between Persuasion and Influence?

Cheers for now,

Jason D

How To Effortlessly Get The Best Table In The Restaurant Each And Every Time

It can really make or break an evening out if you have a great seat in a restaurant. This short but powerfully request will almost always influence the maitre d' in any restaurant to ensure you one of the best seats in the house.

When calling simple ask in a polite, confident manor; "I'd like the most romantic table you have because we're celebrating tonight, what can you do for me?"

This technique is persuasive on a number of levels. Everyone loves a celebration and if you can help make that celebration even more special then they will go out of their way to help you.

On another level of persuasion. You have also made a specific request and you have embedded the work "because" into the sentence. Because is a very powerful word. Most people react to the word because in a very specific way. By using the work because you have given them a reason for your request and they are much less likely to question it and much more likely to influence them into complying with your request.

So there we have it, combine a direct request, a reason and a celebration into one extra persuasive sentence and you'll be well on your way to securing the best table in the house.

Jason D

If you are interested in discovering more short soundbite sentences that you can use in every day situations, then I recommend the fantastic book by copyright expert Ted Nicholas. In this book he reveals 17 magic words that can make you a fortune and easily improve your influencing ability in a host of everyday situations, it's fascinating reading from beginning to end.

http://tinyurl.com/sogr9

Use Persuasion Verbal Aikido To Kick “But” In The Butt.

There are certain words that we use each and every day and many these will be used without really thinking about how you influence people. These words could have a massive effect on the way others perceive and react to what you say whether you mean it or not. This could lead to a lot of mixed messages, unnecessary confusion or even annoyance in some cases when during a influence or persuasion situation.

There is one word that is so destructive yet so easy to eliminate from your language that I’m after you’ve read this sort article you’ll wonder why you didn’t think of it before now.

The word I’m talking about is “but”.

If your goal is to persuade or influence someone to your way of thinking or to behave in a certain manor it is helpful to develop a certain level of rapport.

Likewise in meetings or during discussions it is invaluable to communicate in an eloquent the elegant manor.

How does it work then?

Let me start with an example.

“I love your idea Tom, it really is fantastic BUT I think it might be an idea to develop…”

or

“…yes I agree BUT I think it will be a better idea to…”

You see what has happened here. The BUT has completely discounted the idea, opion or view of what has just been said. It is almost like say I’m “I’m hearing your point of view only mine is better”

To overcome this issue simply replay the work BUT with the word AND. AND has an inclusive effect on the sentence. It doesn’t discount what has just been said it includes it. It recognises the statement, point of view, object or whatever an moves on to offer a further point to consider or alternative.

“I love your idea Tom, it really is fantastic AND I think it might be an idea to develop…

or

“…yes I agree AND I think it will be a better idea to…”

It may seem strange to begin with but once you get started and start seeing the results, you’ll see why it is so effective in building rapport

Did you see what I did in the above sentence? I used BUT to my advantage. I took an opinion and purposefully discounted it.

In a persuasion situation you can use BUT to your advantage to overcome objections. You simple rever the order of the buts.

“I love the product but it is expensive”.

Could be restated as…

It is expensive but I really love the product.

This won’t work every time but I certainly will stop people feeling that their opinion is being discounted.

Jason D

Derren Brown and "The Heist" Breakdown of How It Was Done

This Article from the Boldapproach blog is long but excellent breakdown of the classic Derren Brown show called The Heist. Derren Brown is one of best in the business and bring influence and persuasion to a who new level in the programme. I thought it would be useful to see what Dave from Boldapproach have to say about it.

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My Analysis of Derren Brown and "The Heist" - One of the most dangerous examples of persuasion you'll ever see.

In an email to the readers of my newsletter, I shared with them "The Heist," a show aired on British Television that demonstrates the power of persuasion, manipulation, motivation and more.

If you haven't watched Darren Brown in The Heist yet, go here and watch it then read the rest of this post, it will make more sense.

I decided to provide my analysis as a blog post so that you can comment and discuss your feelings as well. I strongly encourage you to post your thoughts here as this is where I'll be responding.

Much of what Darren Brown does is missing. They demonstrated pieces of what he did but you have to remember that this conditioning took place over an extended time. The outcome would not have been the same at the end of a day for example.

These people were carefully selected from the initial group and narrowed down to those people most susceptible to actually taking the actions that were anticipated. There is a strong sales and marketing lesson here, it is much easier to influence those people who you've carefully screened (you do have criteria for the people who can work with you, right?) and who demonstrate further interest in changing their views. He attracted a certain kind of person by using an advertisement that promised that they'd learn his techniques.

Notice that from the very beginning Derren sets up tests to see how they'll respond. He also watches the participants as they interact, watching for body language and social clues. He has to narrow down the group quickly to find those most likely to take action. He also begins to condition them, having a security guard hassle them from the beginning. Note that the security guard's jacket is the same color as the security truck in the actual heist. Virtually everything that Darren does is conditioning, testing and reconditioning. From a marketers point of view, this is a powerful statement around brand and brand recognition. You must provide a series of cues that people are anchored to that they can react to at a later date. This is why having the exact colors in your ad or logo when reproduced is very important for example.

Derren then points out that he is going to teach them some of his skills peppered with a dose of pop psychology. What he is really doing here is teaching them a piece of a bigger skill, and reinforcing how it will work by tying in pseudo social proof. He knows that people easily accept pop psychology in this case Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP, because it is water cooler conversation and easy to swallow . . . it is also designed to help people feel good and lower their resistance. It does not take a lot of proof for people to draw the conclusion that they think that they should, especially when reinforced with facts. As a marketer or salesperson, you should be exploring how you can leverage facts and supportive "psychology" in your advertising and presentations.

Green remains an important element in the conditioning, look at the name tags of the people as they first gather around the table and meet Darren. Look at the screen behind him on the wall.
Next comes memory strategies, teaching them a linking strategy to remember a list of things to do and he uses very specific language when quizzing them. "X leads you to Y leads you to Z." This is a use of metaphor in language and also a very specific process for getting them to follow instructions and to follow procedures specifically.

He then moves them further into the use of metaphoric language and continues to condition them through the use of metaphor. You notice that this area is brushed over pretty quickly in the show because it is one of the keys to this kind of program. I teach a way of using metaphor in my book Persuasion: The Art of Getting What You Want when I talk about storytelling. Metaphor is a very powerful persuasion tool because people build bigger meanings internally when listening to and applying the metaphor to themselves than you can by outright telling them what to think or how to interpret something.
Note the color of their ink pens.

Next, when he explains anchoring a key NLP term, he talks about it as "Stealing an emotion, stealing a response." He is using anchoring and embedded language very effectively to tie stealing together with change and emotion. He is anchoring stealing to the process of learning a core principle. They are completely unaware. Anchoring is very powerful in advertising and rarely used effectively. Firing powerful emotional anchors can initiate automatic responses in people. If you don't believe it, think about the Twin Towers for a moment or the Kennedy assassination for a second and notice how you feel. You immediately reconnect with the feelings you had that day. By deeply connecting emotions and anchoring those emotions with your marketing messages, you are able to effectively take connect with people's emotions.
Bear in mind that this is taking place over a long period of time, two weeks, they are being systematically conditioned.

He then gives them a gun and a CD that he says they must listen to that he says contains subliminal messages that will reinforce their learnings. He is building on their beliefs and their belief in him. Research shows that auditory subliminals have no real impact on behavior, but what does is belief. If you believe that something is true it becomes true as you act on the belief. People for example who hold a belief about spontaneous healing or spiritual healing are much more likely to experience those outcomes because of the belief. When you identify people's beliefs and you build on those beliefs and link (there is that word again) their beliefs to new beliefs, the new beliefs become equally powerful.

Maybe the most disturbing part of the program for most people was the recreation of the Milgram experiment where people are told by authority figures to shock others who are actors (but they don't know it). The original experiment was conducted by Dr. Stanley Milgram, a social psychologist who studied obedience. This portion of the program was disturbing because of the psychological implications of their belief that they'd actually shocked someone up to a potentially lethal level just because someone in a lab coat told them to. In the original Milgram experiment they anticipated that 1/10 of 1% of people would actually go all the way, in reality, more than 50% did. From a marketing standpoint, this shows you the tremendous power of using authority figures in your persuasion efforts. It also shows why many people do outrageous things in the name of God when given direction by an authoritarian leader with an alleged better connection to "God" than the worshiper.

Notice how after the Milgram experiment Derren very carefully evaluates each individual (also notice that he did not give a concise overview of what he was looking for) to determine the people most likely to take the action he wants them to take. This is a very important key in marketing and in developing a cult like following. If you intend to develop people who will be complete converts and who will stop thinking and just take the actions you suggest, you must select the most highly suggestible people. From there, they become your ardent supporters and leaders, evangelists if you will, that will provide the crucial social proof for others to easily follow.
Now that he has narrowed down the group, he continues to anchor states, combine states and deepen the triggers. This is and should be done in all of your advertising and persuasion efforts. You don't have to be nearly as overt as Derren is to be effective. I teach this in my advanced influence programs and how to do it ethically.

Also note, how these people are driven back to the idea that they are learning these things for the betterment of themselves. They've already closely identified with Derren by wanting to understand how he does what he does, they in effect want the same level of control and are promised that very thing when they are selected to be part of the group. From a cult perspective, this is exactly what happens, at some level, people identify with the leader or his ideas and want to be more like him, to have secret knowledge imparted to them, and through adherence to ritual, practice and knowledge, they are moved closer and closer to the "truth" or "enlightenment."

One of the biggest exposures to this truth is during the "Chi" demonstration, they really do believe that they are transferring their energy and knocking the other person down, this is a strong reinforcement that they are "learning" what Derren knows. In reality as Derren clearly points out, the people who fall are the victims of their own beliefs, they believe that it is possible and they are victims of the suggestion, their own minds cause them to fall and nothing else. This from your standpoint as a marketer and a persuader is important to understand. If you tell your customers what they should expect to happen, it will, they'll find a way to make it true. The interesting thing about this is that it won't work with an outright lie. There has to be an area of "it could happen" to it so that they can make the connection between what could happen and what does or does not happen.

Ultimately, the people in the show take a very predictable action, they rob the truck at a rate of 75%, a much higher rate than the success of most marketing or persuasion efforts. It works because they are specifically conditioned, they are narrowed down and provided with more information and then all of the triggers that have been put into place are fired and they take action.

This film is a great review of what is possible with your marketing, advertising, influencing and persuading when you follow a detailed plan and properly identify and condition your audience.
Note: I got this note from Dr. Signe Dayhoff and reader and social psychologist:
"In Milgram's experiments there were those who suffered tremendously during the experiment, torn between doing what they felt was right and humane and what the authority figure demanded. Afterward there were a number of people who suffered from emotional problems because they had been introduced to a side of themselves that was ugly and didn't match their sense of self/identity. While the last individual in the video, who didn't attempt a heist, said he felt good about himself, that he was "a good person," I worried about the lasting effects on those who attempted the heist. How would they reconcile what they had done with their own definition of being a "good person."

To have Derren Brown and a psychologist "deprogram" them didn't seem sufficient. Knowing that (1) someone could manipulate you that easily to do (2) something you wouldn't do under normal circumstance or would have thought you could not do is most discomforting, as well as challenging to who you really are as an individual.

Those Milgram experiments, as well as the Prison Studies of Philip Zimbardo, are the reason that informed consent of subjects came into required use."
I agree, when you use persuasion, coercion, manipulation, and influence for an end that is not ethical, there is great concern about the health of the person on the receiving end. That is why we focus on the line between persuasion and manipulation which is intent.

There is a lot more to this that I'd like to discuss and will in future blog posts about how to use the techniques you saw ethically and appropriately in your advertising and persuasion efforts.

Covert Hypnosis In A Nut Shell

This is an excellent article from the coverthypnosis blog explaining what Covert Hypnosis is.
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How to quickly explain covert hypnosis? Let me try this way...

Have you ever really wanted something but knew you mustn't or shouldn't have it?

You ever called a person up when you knew you'd appear too needy if you did it right then?

Have you ever eaten too much when you knew you were on a diet and shouldn't eat at all after a certain time?

Well all of those things happen because we actually have two minds inside our brain -- our analytical conscious mind and action-reaction type subconscious mind. Our analytical mind thinks of the future, our subconscious mid thinks of now.

So when you can consciously tell yourself that you'll have the sandwich tomorrow, your subconscious wants it right NOW. You're hungry now and so you want the sandwich now. This is why it's so difficult to go on a diet -- your conscious' mind "will power" is much weaker than the subconscious desires and drives!OK, so where does covert hypnosis come in here.

You probably saw where I was going with my introduction. Covert hypnosis is a way of communicating directly to the"stronger" subconscious mind and convincing "it" that what you want the person to do is beneficial for them. Once you've succeeded in that the battle is practically over.

There comes a time when you talk to a very stubborn person (a strong will power) --> there you have to also convince the conscious mind (much trickier!), but most of the time all you have to do is to convince the subconscious.When a person understands covert hypnosis, he or she has a giant advantage over the person he or she is talking to. It's very easy to convince the subconscious mind when you learn how to effectively bypass the analytical part of the mind. And that's exactly what can easily be done with covert hypnosis.

How To Instantly And Easily Tell If Someone Is Listening To You Or Simply Paying You Idle Lip Service

Have you ever been in a situation when you’ve been talking to someone in a persuasion situation? You thought you were getting your important message across and felt comfortable that you were having an element of success in influencing the situation. You thought they understood your message loud and clear.

However later on you discover that that message went right through them, like water through a sieve, you might as well have not said a thing.

Frustration

This can understandably lead to a lot of frustration. You’ve spent a lot of time and effort tying to persuade your child to do something or putting across a persuasive sales message to a client and it was all more or less wasted.

Well here is a tip to help you discover if someone has really processed your message. It is based on the NLP concept of “eye accessing cues”.

How We Process Information

When we process information we tend do look in a certain direction to access that sense. Some people hold that position for a second or so while others will emphasize the fact by actually pointing their whole head in a particular direction.

Sights

Try this with one of your friends. Ask them a question like “what color is your front door.” This is a question that will require them to access a visual memory of their front door. The chances are will look up and either to the left of right.

Sounds

Then ask them to remember a sound. For example “What was the last thing you can remember your partner saying to you”. It is highly likely that they will look to the left or right. This is the sound eye-accessing cue.

Feelings

Finally ask them how they know when they feel totally relaxed, totally chilled out and at ease. They will have to access their feelings and will likely look down. Note: they may look up first to remember a time in the past visually before looking down either to the left or right to recall the actual feeling.

Now that said, how can we use this in an influence or persuasion situation? Well simple really. If you as someone a question an they are looking straight at you then it his highly likely that they have not actually processed the question. They have simply answered on auto pilot. You need to either repeat the question or ask it a different way.

So in summary, each time you ask someone a question make sure their eyes move either up down, or to the side, different people have different styles. This means that they have processed the question. Whether they have understood it is a question is a question for another day!

To your persuasion success.

Jason D